To start the blog series about our Disney World wedding I wanted to start simple with the choosing of my wedding dress! I mostly wanted to start with this so those who are going through this process know they are not alone, because man oh man talk about overwhelming.
I actually ended up with two wedding dresses. On my very first trip to look at wedding dresses I ended up buying one, something I don’t recommend (just my opinion). I was home from California for a funeral and we went dress shopping as something fun to do during a rather hard time. It was a fun experience in that my mom, sister-in-law, cousin, and nieces were there to rate and help, but otherwise it was very overwhelming. I don’t really like being the center of attention and big decisions overwhelm me pretty easily. I felt like the sales person got a little pushy once I found one that stood out to me. There were aspects of the dress I wanted to change that were kind of large. She told me I just had to order extra lace to put on the dress, then kept saying little comments about buying it. Now I understand it’s their job to sell things, but when it comes to wedding dresses I think the experience should be more than pressure to buy a dress. I thought I had a “moment” where I teared up and thought “yes this is the one!”, but looking back I think it was more because a close relative had just passed and was feeling some feels with that.
Needless to say the rose colored dress with white lace was bought and I walked out of the store with “the one”. When the lace came in to add to the dress, to create the vision I had, ya girl was on the verge of tears the entire time as it was not what I thought it would look like. Bless up to my cousins, mom, and aunts who were all around me trying to make it work.
Then it happened. I went to 5 weddings in one summer and realized “crap, I want a traditional white dress”. I felt so conflicted about it as I already had a dress and I didn’t want to be “that girl”. When this came up I decided to go check. I found the cutest little boutique dress shop right up the road from where I lived in Utah and went by myself to try on some all white dresses. I was very upfront with the sales person as to why I was there and what I was looking to accomplish. She was amazing and made it a great experience. Aside from the sales person being great, I liked that it was just me checking everything out and making decisions without all eyes on me. I tried on a wide variety of styles to see what I liked, had a few that stood out, then left with no dress in hand. This made me realize though I wanted the white dress.
I called my mom to get her thoughts and she said go with my gut. So I went back again. This time I brought my cousin with me to get a little outside perspective. I tried on a few I had tried on at my first visit and stayed away from any that I wanted aspects changed, ya girl was not doing that again. After this I had about 4 that I really liked. I knew my mom and some family were coming to visit in a few weeks so planned to go back with them, finally ready to be the center of attention. Plus, I was already pretty sure which one I liked the most. We went and it was so fun. I tried them all on and got to say a definite yes to the dress with everyone there. I will add, I did not cry this time. I didn’t feel like I had a “moment”. I just felt excited every time I put the dress on. It was actually the sales person who helped me with this as I was worried I didn't have a "moment". She told me I didn’t have to have a moment, she could just tell from how my face lit up and I danced around in this dress that I loved it.
The last time I went to the shop was to pick up my dress and work on the fitting and alterations. This time just my cousin and me again, keeping it simple. It had been a few months but it was still as wonderful as I remembered. I ended up doing something a little drastic and cut the train off my dress. I didn’t like it bustled and knew I would be walking and dancing all day and night, so why have it looking a way I didn’t like majority of the time. However, my amazing alteration lady made me a removable train! Seriously so cool. I also made the off the shoulder lace removable because, again, I was planning to dance the night away and didn’t want my arms stuck at my side.
So, long story short, and the reason I’m writing this rather random blog is to give some advice from what I learned.
First, do what is comfortable for you. If you're like me and don’t like being the center of attention, go by yourself at first! Or bring one person you’re close with, then later bring more people if you want. It’s a big process and decision, so do whatever will make you feel comfortable. To add to that, if you do bring people with you, make sure they're who you want. I loved bringing my mom, mother-in-law, aunts, and cousins in the end, it made it special when I said my official yes.
Second, go to the dress shop, or shops, a few times. Don’t pressure yourself, or let others pressure you, into buying a dress the first time you go. However, if you are under a time crunch or really do fall in love, again, do what's best for you!
Third, go with your gut. If you feel something is not quite right or you want something different, go with that. This is your wedding dress and you want it to be right for YOU.
Fourth, there are a ton of fish in the sea! If you want to make big alterations, I bet you can find a dress that has what you want without having to alter it that much. This also goes back to go a few times, try on however many dresses you want, theres are TONS of dresses out there.
Fifth, I suggest once you do pick a dress you stop looking them up or following that account on IG that gave you inspo. This, for me at least, was a big thing. Even though I knew I loved my new dress, it was hard having more and more pop up.
Six, it’s okay to change your mind. At first I felt absolutely terrible about wanting a different dress, but then I remembered it’s my wedding day and I should make sure I’m wearing the dress I really want.
Lastly, it okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel excited. It’s okay to not have a “moment”. It’s okay to feel nervous. It’s okay to feel however you feel about this process. Wedding planning is a lot and you get a lot of voices coming from different directions at times, just remember to do what you feel is best, and have some fun along the way.